MONDAY BYTES – September 3, 2012
Interpersonal skills are the ones that we all think we have plenty of. And yet there’s much evidence to the contrary all around us. Which means that most of us could use a periodic check-up (the 30,000 mile oil change).
Musicians spend so much time alone cooped up in practice rooms that we often reach maturity with under-developed social skills. It can be a real problem since the music profession is relationship-driven.
So, what do we or should we do about musician colleagues (or others) who don’t realize they are at times being rude, or are committing social gaffs that are hurting them professionally? When can we—or should we—intervene?
Here’s one approach from the fab blog “Letters of Note,” (with inspiring letters from a wide range of leaders, artists, and scientists). It’s a letter that Winston Churchill’s wife sent him (link below).
Bit of background: “It’s difficult to imagine the stress experienced by Winston Churchill in June of 1940, as WWII gathered pace just a couple of months after he first became Prime Minister. Behind the scenes, however, the weight on his shoulders was noticed and felt by all those around him — so much so that on the 27th of the month, his wife, Clementine, wrote him the following SUPERB LETTER” [basically telling him, in the most loving way, that he was not behaving well and should clean up his act. Read it: we should all have a Clementine in our lives!]
Questions for the week: How did you learn interpersonal skills? Has a mentor or loved one or colleague ever pulled you aside and set you straight? Have you ever pulled a colleague aside to suggest they alter their behavior?
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