Margot Robbie plays the figure skater Tonya Harding in “I, Tonya.”CreditNeon
Have you seen the movie “I, Tonya”? I recommend it—but it’s not for the faint of heart. It begs the question, how well are you playing the game of life?
For those of you who missed seeing the original 1994 Olympic drama play out and haven’t seen the biographical film yet, it’s all about a talented young person who dreams big and works hard—how she overcomes tremendous odds in order to compete at the highest level. (Sounds like the story of many musicians, right?)
In figure skater Tonya Harding’s case though, things didn’t turn out the way she’d hoped.
It’s a real American story. One that offers hard lessons about the media, goals and expectations, class issues, moral turpitude (a phrase I’ve never before had occasion to write), as well as competition, abuse—and especially—about blame.
A few of the uncomfortable questions the film may get you considering are:
When things don’t work out right, whom or what do you blame?
How do you cope with the reality that life is unfair?
How do you respond to setbacks?
For Olympic athletes, there’s many years of training for often just one shot at bringing home gold. They train obsessively so they can play the game to win. To ‘beat’ the competition. To be the best.
It’s the hero’s journey played out with all the trials, hardship, and sacrifice—and it’s winner take all.
Just like musicians.
For athletes and for musicians, there’s often a sense that our worth as people comes down to winning.
What’s the win you’re actually after?
We want the prize, the gig, the contract, or the job. We want to “arrive,” to be known, to be respected.
But the effects of any single win or accomplishment are fleeting. Endorsement deals for athletes don’t last, nor does the buzz from any one performance, tour, competition win, or album.
And that bright shiny job we wanted so badly? Well, once we’re acclimated to it we start to notice the imperfections that come with reality.
Win a gold medal and you get endorsements and a trip to Disney World. But you don’t get happy ever after.
I’m not saying don’t “go for the gold,” I’m saying clarify what the ultimate result is that you want.
It’s all in how you play the game of life.
The downside of having our self-worth riding on winning a competition or a job is that it keeps us hoping and waiting to be “picked.” This means letting someone else decide if we are worthy.
The alternative?
You can pick yourself. So sure, go ahead and compete if you like. Knock yourself out and do your best. But don’t rely on that as your career plan or your sole artistic outlet.
Make sure you’re also pursuing your own creative projects. Get out and test the beta version of your festival or concert series. Launch that ensemble or try out your new arrangements. Do the work that you’re afraid of—that’s where the growth is.
The game of life isn’t won by racking up awards, gigs, money, titles, or toys.
For artists, it’s about doing the work: challenging ourselves creatively day in and day out. Connecting with audiences, with students, with life. So that at the end of our days we can look back and say that we made an impact—that we lived a life we’re proud of, and that we became the person we aspired to be.
This week: What’s the project that you most need to get going on? The one that will help you develop into the artist and person you intend to be? What’s it going to take to get it going?
And if you’d like to have a conversation about your goals and career plans, and how coaching might help you get past whatever’s been holding you back, let’s schedule a time to talk! Reach me at Angela@BeyondTalentConsulting.com.
Let’s do it!
Dream Big, Plan Smart, Live Well
