It’s uncomfortable, right? The gap we all experience. The gap between where we are in life now and where we’d like to be.
Maybe we think our careers should be further along. In the gap, it can feel like we’ve been working hard, but that we’re in stuck in second gear, getting nowhere fast.
The thing about the gap is it creates tension.
And that tension can get us to make the changes needed to create our desired future.
But instead, most of us set up camp in the gap. It’s familiar. It gives us room to complain. And to be depressed, or angry, resentful, and envious—all while telling ourselves we’re doing everything we can.
I’ve seen this all too often in clients and in myself. We know what we need to do. We intend to take the scary action to move ahead. But instead we distract ourselves with a zillion other urgent but not ultimately important items on our to do lists. So we stay stuck. (See one of my more embarrassing procrastination stories here).
But what if we took that other route? And let the uncomfortable tension motivate us to take the actions we fear. The actions that would bring about our desired future.
Whether that desired future focuses on work, finances, health, or relationships, it all comes down to taking consistent actions and changing our habits. To do this, we need a plan for the inevitable obstacles and the internal resistance that we all experience when making change happen.
The stronger the resistance, the more important it is to have a plan and to put it into action in the moment before we talk ourselves out of doing the thing we most need to do.
That’s why I love WOOP.
If you haven’t heard of it, WOOP is “a practical, accessible, evidence-based mental strategy that people can use to find and fulfill their wishes and change their habits . . . Over twenty years of research shows that WOOP works. Known scientifically as Mental Contrasting with Implementation Intentions, the approach has proven effective across ages and areas of life, helping people achieve goals dealing with health, career/academics, and interpersonal relationships.” Here’s more of the skinny from the site:
The four steps of WOOP
(WOOP stands for wish, outcome, obstacle, plan.)
“What is your Wish?
What is your most important wish or concern? Pick a wish that feels challenging but that you can reasonably fulfill within the next four weeks. [So if your goal is big, hairy, and audacious, choose a specific portion of it to work on in the coming weeks.]
What is the best Outcome?
If your wish is fulfilled, where would that leave you? What would be the best, most positive outcome? How would fulfilling your wish make you feel?
Identify your best outcome and take a moment to imagine it as fully as you can.
What is your main inner Obstacle?
What is it within you that holds you back from fulfilling your wish? It might be an emotion, an irrational belief, or a bad habit. Think more deeply—what is it really?
Identify your main inner obstacle and take a moment to imagine it fully.
Make a Plan
What can you do to overcome your obstacle? Identify one action you can take or one thought you can think to overcome your obstacle.
Make the following plan for yourself:
‘If… (obstacle), then I will … (action or thought).'”
Check it out in this short 8 minute video and learn how to WOOP (wish, outcome, obstacle, plan) . . .
It’s all based on the research of Gabriele Oettingen: check out her book Rethinking Positive Thinking.
And yep, there’s a WOOP APP.
This week: Join me in WOOPing it up! I’m using it to help me lean into action when my obstacle is full on (the negative self-talk that’s slowed my progress on my latest project. I’m fed up and ready to WOOP.) Try it: I’d love to know about your experience with WOOPing!
And if you’d like to have a conversation about your goals and career plans, and how coaching might help you get past whatever’s been holding you back, let’s schedule a time to talk! Reach me at Angela@BeyondTalentConsulting.com.
Let’s do it!
Dream big, Plan smart, Live well
