MONDAY BYTES: December 29, 2014
You have a goal and a reasonable plan, you’re even motivated, but then you find you’re just not doing the work.
Something always seems to get in the way: you’re an award-winning procrastinator.
So what do you do . . .
When setting deadlines doesn’t work,
When having an accountability partner doesn’t work,
When breaking down the big projects into manageable pieces doesn’t work?
First, realize that resistance is a form of self-protection against the pain of confronting ourselves.If you’ve got such elaborate resistance, there’s something at stake in avoiding doing the project.
In other words, even though you may really want to make the change, there’s a subconscious part of you that’s very invested in NOT making the change.
It may be that in working to make the desired change, you are stirring up uncomfortable or intolerable emotions and beliefs about yourself. The upshot being that you opt for the least painful of two discomforts.
The discomfort of living with a dream deferred is less than the discomfort of confronting what would get stirred up if we started making the change.
So we live with self-talk procrastination excuses: “I’m just too busy / distracted / tired” — to avoid dealing with the more painful self-talk such as . . . “I’m afraid I will make a fool of myself” OR “I am afraid to be seen as incompetent” OR “I can’t stand being judged.”
The only way to make real change is through dealing with what we think is actually at stake.There’s always some crazy tape loop going on in the back of our heads. 2015 is a great time to pay attention to what we tell ourselves.
This week: What have you been procrastinating doing? This week, spend some time thinking about what comes up when you imagine working on your project—what core fears are activated?
PS: For more help with the topic, check out these two terrific resources:
“Unlocking the Immunity to Change” — the two Harvard instructors have also taught their popular course as MOOC with EdX.
And check out the book, blog, and consulting practice of the terrific Hillary Rettig!
For info on working with me: details are HERE.
