Time for a little show and tell. I’m unveiling my Self Worth Jar.
Making it was an assignment from guest speaker Katy Chen Mazzaro at a recent retreat I attended. Katy is a terrific coach who works with creatives on clearing their money blocks—that baggage we all carry when it comes to our finances.
Katy invited us to make our own Self Worth Jar. To find an old jar and put into it, written on slips of paper, whatever we feel proud of having done, made, or accomplished. The idea is that by writing these things down we can remind ourselves that we HAVE done things we’re proud of—and that there’s more of these than we thought.
And it’s handy to have one for those days when you’re feeling “less than.” You can take the jar down off the shelf and read what’s inside to remind you that you’re capable and that you can keep moving forward.
Embarrassing to admit this . . .
It took me almost a month to finally do the assignment. First I had to find the “just right” jar at my local Goodwill store. Then it was going through all my wrapping materials to find the perfect ribbon for decorating it. Then I had to make sure I had a range of colors for the messages inside.
This was all my Resistance disguised as my perfectionist closet crafter. If I owned a glue gun we’d all be in trouble (can we say BEdazzler, anyone?).
I delayed all this because once I had the jar set, then I had to write the damn messages.
All my obsessiveness was my Resistance. It was me trying to avoid the discomfort of taking credit for what I’m proud of having done.
The weird thing is that once I started writing, I was surprised at what all I remembered and how much there was in fact to take credit for.
Naming all this didn’t leave me with a swollen head (always the fear). It did, though, leave me with a stronger sense of who I am and a little more confidence heading into my next project. Thank you, Katy!
DIY Self Worth
You don’t have to make this a big deal. You can find an old jar in your house, or use an old teapot or a cookie jar. The thing is, you do want to label it or designate it in some way so that it feels special. (And so that you don’t throw it out or brew tea in it by mistake).
And you don’t have get all OCD about this (the way I did). The main idea is to make an intentional physical space for naming what you feel proud of. And once you get into the habit of noting what you’re proud of and adding these to the jar, you start being more comfortable acknowledging your self worth. You start to own it.
As musicians, most of us are so busy being perfectionistic, that even when we KNOW we’ve done a good job, we’re immediately analyzing it for what to do better next time. And then we’re quickly on to the next item on our never-ending to-do list. So there’s rarely any celebrating, let alone acknowledging what we’ve done.
The problem with that, as my business coach Dallas Travers always says, is “You can’t build on success you don’t acknowledge.”
This week take some “me time” to acknowledge what you’ve done, made, and accomplished that you feel proud of. Find a jar or use a vase.
Write down the specific recordings and performances, or the master classes and courses you’ve taught, or the ensembles and studios you’ve created. Take credit for what you’re truly proud of.
I’m thinking of my clients who’ve overhauled their websites and promo materials. I hope they’re proud of their good work and of showing the world who they really are.
And what about how you’ve gotten through Covid so far? I hope you’re proud of that, too, and that it will help you keep going forward.
And if you’d like to find out how getting expert coaching can help you bring more of your best work into the world, let’s talk.
Dream Big, Plan Smart, Live Well